Erotic Comic Script up for grabs!

This is my first stab at a comic script: a homage to a well known 30s adventure serial. I’m not sure it’s commercial, but I enjoyed writing it. If anybody wants to actually take a stab at doing the graphics, I’d be ecstatic. (I have another three episodes outlined.)

DASH HORDEN’S LAST TRIP TO DOMINAGO

I imagine doing the whole thing in black and white, with occasional speckles and lines to mimic old film stock – self consciously pretending to be an original 30s serial, and doing it “straight” rather than for laughs. I’d borrow the cast from the original and best Flash Gordon adventure, casting Jeans Rogers as my Gale http://www.flashgordon.ws/dale.htm.

CAPTIONS

Title:
(All centred)
DASH HORDEN’S LAST TRIP TO DOMINAGO
CHAPTER 1: THE WRATH OF AUREOLA

1939: MONTAGE OF NEWSPAPERS AND EXT. DASH’S ROCKETSHIP

Dash’s retro rocketship flies against a backdrop of stars, but shares the frame with a collage of newspapers:

HEADLINES:
WAR IN EUROPE!
DASH FLIES TO DOMINAGO
WILL PRINCE JARL HELP?”
CAPTION:
1939


INTERIOR PRINCESS AUREOLA’S BEDCHAMBER, ROYAL PALACE, DOMINAGO

We’re looking down on Princess Aureola’s bedchamber. It’s the Art Deco future: no visible ceiling, long, neatly pleated drapes, bold bracket-like detailing on the wall with dome rivets. Mute ROBOTMEN line the wall, all to attention. They look retro but not silly.

Near a handy TELEVISOR, ceiling-length curtains frame a huge bed on a raised dais against one wall. Surrounded by exotically dressed HANDMAIDENS, PRINCESS AUREOLA, lies sprawled on the bed, her skirt hiked up to her waist so that a kneeling HANDMAIDEN 1 can lick her pussy.

(DOMINAGISH FEMALE COSTUME comprises long, high-waisted skirt, and crop-top or bikini. It’s clingy, but just the right side of believable. (Think Arabian Nights.) The handmaidens have a plainer but more transparent costume. Aureola has striking Egyptian style jewellery and a skin-hugging boob-tube/crop-top to support her ample bosoms.)

As we close in, Aureola urges Handmaiden 1 on with a riding crop. We notice that the girls are bare-bottomed under their diaphanous skirts, but there’s something shiny covering their pussies.

Close-ups: Handmaiden 1’s back as the riding crop blows come faster; Aureola throws her head back; nipples erect; eyes widen; the riding crop draws blood; Aureola drops riding crop and forces Handmaiden 1’s face into her pussy; Aureola screams.

Handmaiden 1 flops back, exhausted but wide-eyed and flushed with desire. She weeps.

AUREOLA
(Sitting up and cupping the girl’s chin, which is dripping with the royal juices.)
You’ve pleased me, my pretty.
(Reaches for the girl’s nipple. Holds out other hand to receive riding crop from offscreen handmaiden.)

HANDMAIDEN 1
(Whimpers. Recoils: She doesn’t want to be turned on.)
No! Please.

Aureola’s fingers pinch the nipple.
The girl’s eyes widen: she’s obviously frustrated.
Aureola rolls the girl over onto the royal lap.

Closeups: Aureola pops a breast free and toys with it; hikes up the girl’s skirt, revealing long sexy legs with high-strapped sandals; strokes between the girl’s thighs - there’s definitely something metallic covering her pussy.
AUREOLA
A pity you shall have no pleasure for yourself.
(Turns to Robotmen)
Take her to the cells for a whipping! Perhaps that will teach her to address me properly.
(Close up on her angry face)
I have not forgotten that you all betrayed me.

HANDMAIDEN 2
(Bows low, cleavage-tastic moment.)
Y…y…your Majesty, Dash Horden has landed

AUREOLA
Activate the Spy Ray! Then report for a whipping - never interrupt the Royal Afterglow!


INTERIOR: DASH’S ROCKETSHIP

Dash is at the controls, back to Gale who stands behind him in fashionable respectable 30s costume. She’s unfastening her skirt.

DASH
(Face set, grimly looking forward, sweat beading on his forehead. Just out of focus behind him Gale now has her skirt and blouse off, revealing 30s bra and silk underskirt.)

Don’t worry Gale, I won’t turn round.

GALE
(The under skirt drifts to the ground and we focus on just one perfect thigh: cami-knickers, garter belt and stockingtops.)

Oh Dash! You’re so stuffy! We’re not on Earth!

Pull back, and here’s Gale in Domagish costume, still looking fresh faced and big eyed.

DASH
(Still looking forward)
Can we get moving now? This is a diplomatic mission, you know.

GALE
You just can’t wait to get together with Prince Jarl.
(Bending and drawing up her hem to reveal a long, curvy leg.)
All the more reason to wear the local costume. Hang on, Dash.

Close up: She holds her knickers between finger and thumb – this girl’s going commando on Dominago.

INTERIOR: AUREOLA’S BEDROOM, AT THE TELEVISOR

Same image, but now on the screen. Aureola’s been watching the entire scene.
Close ups: she’s absentmindedly masturbating; the kneeling handmaidens watch enviously.

AUREOLA
(Holding out her wet fingers for a handmaiden to suck clean in close up)
Seize them both. Prepare the Chastiser Ray.

EXTERIOR: DASH’S ROCKETSHIP, LANDED IN THE ROCKY BADLANDS AT THE BASE OF THE PALACE ROCK

Dash and Gale have only got as far as the boarding ramp before the Robotmen seize them. Gale is doing her trademark orgasmic scream.

CAPTIONS
(Apparently rolling over a tantalisingly erotic background. The first couple of lines are already “off screen”. The last lines are not on screen, but we don’t care about them.)

happened to Prince Jarl? Can Dash and Gale escape the clutches of Princess power-mad Aureola? What is the purpose of the evil-sounding Chastiser Ray? Will Dash win help for

CREDITS
(Again over an erotic background. Only the name of the artist and the writer are legible. )