Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Useful posts on other people's blogs....

Robert Anthony talks about asking for Femdom the first time. Here are a selection of his wise words:

The truth is, there's no trick or magic bullet which is going to get you what you want. You have to ask for it, and be prepared to take the consequences, whatever they may be....

The other thing that you have to think about is that, if you are at the stage of being ready to ask for this, then you have probably overcome all your initial reactions long ago, you know the whole 'I shouldn't find this exciting but I do' thing... but SHE hasn't. As time goes on you become more relaxed with everything.....

I think aiming for a little at a time is perhaps a good strategy, baby steps gives her time to get comfortable with what you are asking for before you drop the next fantasy on her. Remember that old saying 'it's only kinky the first time', it's bang on the money that is. Trust me, there's always going to be more you want and you're never going to get it all in one go, and your more likely to get some of what you want and keep a happy wife if you let things move at a pace that suits her ....
Meanwhile,  Fursissy has a well-informed series about the "economics" of Femdom:
I decided to theorize about a few things that really explain a lot of the inequities of the D/s lifestyle (beyond the lifestyle itself).

Femdom relationships, most noticeably the courting process and raw numbers can almost all be explained through economic theory.  I'm not sure if this is really useful to anyone, but it should hopefully shed some light on things especially for subs seeking Dommes and for Dommes seeking subs and weeding through the applicants.
Read the whole thing - for those of us who don't exist in the BDSM community, it's a reminder that really the grass is not greener, nor the latex shinier, on the other side of the bars. Robert Anthony's world of Femdom within a marriage suddenly looks all the more attractive.

He demonstrates that it is at least sometimes doable, but only if you approach it sensibly and honestly, more or less what I describe in the my Femdom manual.