|Masturbation is off the table... |
Obviously, I came to erotica as a way of crafting very vivid masturbation fantasies... however, masturbation has been limited in the last four years, and is now off the table... indefinitely.
True, even if I can't get off, masochistic fantasies still give me a buzz. However, that on its own isn't enough to keep me writing -- in my new life, beatings are routine, as is the thrill of living under that threat.
Small wonder, then, that I started to feel that I was done with erotica.
|Every single erotic experience of mine |
would have been enhanced by me being chaste
and in a service-submissive role.
Every single erotic experience of mine would have been enhanced by me being chaste and in a service-submissive role.
Seriously! Most of my girlfriends weren't really into penis in vagina sex, and a good proportion of them were dominant, sometimes kinkily, and nearly three quarters of them were happy to give kink a go at least once.
If only I'd had a working chastity device like my gloriously wicked Saint!
I regret all those lost opportunities... the memories I would have laid down, and also the glorious women I would have introduced to authentic dominance.
I imagine gay men who come out late feel like this.
However, unlike for a gay man, there was and is no general socially acceptable way to "come out as a chaste malesub". Even if you move in BDSM circles, there's no way to casually be yourself beyond that sandbox.
So I regret the unavailable opportunities.
Which leads me to the impossible things which would be the ultimate fulfilment of my orientation. These are combinations of: serving a lesbian couple; being a chattel slave; receiving intense punishment and mistreatment.
|I regret what might have been, what couldn't be, |
and what will never be...
I can assuage my regrets through my fiction... now I don't have to make everything meticulously consensual!
The first season of my Chastity Planet series can reach its logical conclusion, without worrying that the hero doesn't want to be publicly whipped or trapped in chaste slavery!
I can continue my Whips and Stockingtops Femdom flapper series without having to dance around the underlying premise that the men are all true slaves.
And I can write some other really consent-irrelevant masochistic stuff.
I won't make promises about output, but that's where my imagination is taking me these days...